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Thursday, February 12, 2009

Catching up on Correspondence

Upon returning from my business trip to Tyler, Texas, I felt I should write notes to a few of the people I encountered along the way. In the interest of efficiency, I decided I'd just post them here on my blog. If you recognize anyone mentioned below, let them know so they can come and check their message. Just don't give them my name.

To the young woman who struggled mightily with the suitcase,
What part of your comment that "This is an odd sized case, it NEVER fits," would have lead you to try it yet again on the flight from Chicago?

To the drivers on I 20 east of Dallas,
Sitting still and watching the show is best done at home in front of the TV. On the Interstate, it only serves to back up traffic for miles. And it was just two cars (with no dents as near as I could discern) and one state trooper parked on the shoulder!

To Maggie (the female voice giving me directions from my GPS),
Why didn't you tell me to exit left at Texas Spur 157?

To the country singers on Texas radio,
Thanks for keeping me company on the drive. And to one of you in particular, I think you're right, "Everybody wanna go Heaven. But nobody wanna go now."

To the clerk at the Holiday Inn in Tyler,
A Packers fan! And only 125 miles from Dallas! What a nice surprise.

To the cook at Bodacious Barbeque,
That was one mean sliced beef sandwich. I'll be back.

To the clerk at the La Quinta near DFW,
A Packers fan! And only 0 miles from Dallas! Do you know the lady in Tyler? Do the Cowboys know who you two are rooting for? Good luck.

To the young man in the DFW Admirals Club,
I believe the world record for talking on the phone without pausing for a response (or to inhale) was within your reach. Sorry I had to go catch my plane and so missed actually seeing it happen.

To several passengers on the Chicago flight (you know who you are),
Is it THAT hard to turn off your cell phones when asked to do so?

To my seatmate on the flight,
I hope you got the job. And, I hope you learned a few things by studying my solved USA Today crossword. I was flattered you asked as I assume this meant you figured I got it all right!

To the lady on the flight to Chicago,
It's not just your plane.
The flight attendants are not your personal assistants.
The aisle is not intended to be a parking lot for your suitcase full of snacks.
Seating assignments are not yours to rearrange to suit your needs.

To the man with the leg injury sitting across from said lady (and next to her husband) on the flight to Chicago,
After getting climbed over a half-dozen times, no jury in the world would have convicted you. But you kept your cool. Glad to see that you were eventually able to score a whole row in the back of the plane.

To the flight attendant in charge of the zoo that was the flight to Chicago,
Ma'am: you do not get paid enough.

To the passengers on that flight to Indianapolis - the one with the non-functioning lavatory,
I trust you listened when they announced that you should use the restroom BEFORE boarding. And I hope the flight really was only an hour long.

To whoever is in charge of these things at O'Hare,
At 12:55 our pilot was in the terminal and met the flight attendant who had just come from the plane. She was rushing to pick up something at one of the shops. He said to her, "No need to hurry, we have lots of time" (this because a mechanic was on board fixing something). Did you really believe that our 1:05 flight was going to leave On Time?

To the mechanic who worked on the American Eagle plane in Chicago,
I'm not sure what was broken, but if it was the heater, you DID get it fixed.

To those of you who are wondering what all of this has to do with bicycling,
Not one darned thing!


Anonymous said...

Muuuuch LOL!!! More humor - keep it coming, biker boy!

Anonymous said...

Very funny blog, could be a humor column.

Mrs. K said...

Enjoying your blog, especially your letters to those you've "run into". Came over from Jennifer's blog (isn't everybody these days) but from a very old post.